Wednesday, 21 September, 2022 – I wrote a few weeks ago about being in China for a couple of weeks alone, and how hard it was for me. I recognized that I was struggling with feeling alone and isolated, but at the time, I thought, “Well, I chose to do this. I can’t give in to feeling bad. I mean, it’s my fault so I should suck it up.” I don’t know for sure, of course, but I wonder if Elias feels a little bit like that. With the gift of age – and therapy, I know now that feeling alone and sad was not a failing and really, fault was irrelevant.
When Elias and I talked yesterday, he said he was going to try harder to meet people and make conversation. The first month of his trip, he was traveling alone and by day 27, when he met up with Ian and Kelsey, he knew he had been starved for connection and companionship. Now, he is determined to not get to that same place, mentally or emotionally. He is such a warm, companionable person, easy to talk to and a good listener. I hope he will find ways to interact with some new people and not feel alone.
To that end, I think he may have been out late tonight, somewhere near his hostel. I hope so, odd as that may sound.